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21 December 2006 @ 01:03 pm
Fifth Chapter...  
As the title says, this is the fifth chapter of my Frey/Mayura fic.

Light Up

Most of the time, Frey sleeps pretty well--no dreams, no disturbances, no taking-five-hours-to-get-to-sleep-and-then-waking-up-every-ten-minutes--that sort of thing. But sometimes everything comes crashing back into his mind, with blood and screaming and pain and crying and bells, and that's when he starts acting like a frightened little kid without his parents because really, that's what he was before he turned eighteen.

Tonight is one of those nights, and he finds himself stumbling downstairs, opening the door with a choked-out vimuku, staggering out into the rain and feeling his temperature drop so fast it's like his hands are getting crushed and stabbed at the same time, which is fine with him because he's Norwegian and cold is familiar and it hurts in more ways than one.

And then he hears himself talking, like he's recorded what to say earlier but now it's stuck on play and he can't stop because he can't quite grasp the idea of shutting his mouth--

"--sorry I'm sorry why's everyone dead Terje, but it's not your fault 'cause it never was, Eric don't leave don't leave I hate being alone please stay because I'll help you and you have to stay here with me, STAY WITH ME!!!"
And everything's still cold and dark and wet because it's supposed to be this way and--

"Frey? What th--"

"Eric!" And he's back to fifteen again, calling Eric's name as he crumbles to bits and I'm holding as tight as I can why are you still breaking I hate being alone why does everyone leave? "Eric, why's everyone leaving?!"

"Frey, snap out of it!"

He doesn't pay attention to the not-Eric and keeps yelling at the top of his lungs, but then Person-Who-Isn't-Eric hauls him up and clamps a hand over his mouth and nose, which makes him flail a little but then he goes limp because now he's cold and suffocating and wet, is this what Ida felt like when she drowned?

"Goddamnit, Frey, what made you decide to be the local angst-pot?"

... Blink.

He gags on lack of air and shoves himself away. "...Kyô?..."

"You really should've told us if you were having nightmares, you know."

"Well screw that, person-who-stole-my-second-love," Frey snaps at him because he's just not in the mood for normalcy right now. "Isn't coming home and finding everyone else dead--violently--reason enough to "have nightmares"?"

Air quotes for emphasis.

"Isn't my teacher dying in front of me--in my arms no less--enough to make me "decide to be the local angst-pot"? And need I remind you about my earring-which-is-really-my-cousin's-necklace, who drowned herself when I was fifteen because I told her to go back to her real fiance? But no, apparently I have to be all unemotional and tragic childhood and be gossiped about because I'm involved with two sisters!"

"Frey, where is all this coming from?"

"NOT LISTENING, person-who-stole-my-second-love!" He stomps off in the house's vague direction and gets blocked by a sleepy Mei Lin and an irate Billy.

"Frey, what is up with your yelling?" Mei Lin asks.

"I'll tell you, Chinese-starlet," he snaps. "You all think I'm stuck in shameless-flirt mode, so that makes it okay for everyone I care about to die even though we went through this whole defeat-Darva-to-save-the-world shit because Alice's sister was having problems with her ex!"

"Christ, Frey--"

"There!" He jabs a finger at Billy. "That is exactly what I'm talking about! It's okay to fuss about everyone else's issues, but when it comes to me everyone just--just leaves me alone and expects me to be fine! I'm going to have to rebuild EVERYTHING by myself because, you know, everyone else is dead!" he spits the word out like he's bitten into something spoiled.

"Frey..." comes Alice's voice, right on cue. "Frey, we're sorry for not thinking about you..."

"Well you know what, second-love-who-fell-for-someone-else?" he asks softly, with a razor-fine edge. "Thoughts aren't going to bring Eric back. Thoughts wouldn't have kept everyone from killing each other and leaving me to fix what's left of it. Thoughts couldn't have stopped Terje from killing himself--for real this time! And thoughts sure didn't work when I brought Ida's corpse to Eric and asked him 'please bring her back, I have to tell her I'm sorry!'"

Frey doesn't care if nobody knows who Ida is or that Terje already tried to commit suicide (we found him with an empty bottle of pills took six of us to even try keeping him alive I called 911 myself didn't I?), because that's not the point and he just wants them to know that yes, he has the capacity for actual feelings.

And he's just about to spout off more resentment as he yanks the door open, only to come face-to-face with a queasily fuming Mayura.

"Frey, I don't care why you're yelling--"

"Neither do I, third-time's-the-charm--"

"--so just go off and be all--"

"--not up to being NORMAL right now if you haven't noticed!"

"--shut UP until I take some medication and drug myself to sleep!"

So they've both finished yelling and are now glaring daggers at each other while everyone else watches uneasily.

Twitch. Still glaring.

And then for no absolutely reason at all, Mayura chuckles and Frey's mouth cracks into a smile as they fling arms around each other and pretty much forget they were even angry. (Mayura has to crane her neck up a little since her chin can't quite rest on his shoulder.)

"Feeling better, third-time's-the-charm?"

"Not really, but I'm definitely not mad anymore."

"So that's why you're not hitting on Alice anymore," Billy remarks.

"Don't care, boring-postal-worker."

Notes: Personally, I think Frey's the type of person to speak in long, hyphenated descriptions when he's angry, because even though it's technically amusing, it makes you feel bad at the same time. I had the worst time trying to make this sound natural and Frey-like, but I like how it turned out.